Mission: Posers

I'm not talking about people who think they're cooler than they are.

I'm talkin' girls who pose in front of the camera and make silly faces to make them seem "more attractive."

Well, I am now traveling with four of them.

We can't go anywhere without each girl taking her picture in front of every view possible, in every pose possible!

If you don't believe me, take a look in my photos from the British Isles.

I can't stand it.

The purpose of photography is to capture a moment in time.

A photo says a thousand words, but doesn't it say a thousand more when you actually capture the actions of the time.

I, personally, love finding photos of myself when I was captured in a moment of pure joy, or enthrallment.

When it's posed, it's not real. You look back at the photo and can't remember what you were thinking, or looking at. You only remember posing, and looking at the camera...maybe the location.

I like remembering how I was tossing bread at the seagulls, or what our inside joke was that day.

-not things you remember while puckering to a lens.

"Oh, look, a tree! Take a picture of me sitting in it!"

"Ooh, roses! Let me place myself in the center for a picture pose."

"Another castle! Let me stick my hip out, put my hand on my waist, and whip my hair around in a dramatic motion!"

Eww, ugly, ew!

Mission: Hens

I feel like an idiot, but I have never heard of the term "hen" before. I understand now....oh do I understand!

Tonight we decided to go on a Ghost tour while here in Edinburgh.

We thought it was going to be pretty darn awesome, but when we arrived, we saw a dozen or so girls in matching black tank tops and pants. Each one said "Hen tour" on it and on the back each girl had their own slutty nick name.

My personal favorite was "Nympho Nic"

Anyways, these girls were so drunk! and they would not Shut Up. What's worse is that they were all English!

There was one who was constantly swearing at the stupidest of things, as well.

She would always say it twice, too. "Shit.......Shit."

Very entertaining.

Soon, we entered into a torture museum where we saw disturbing instruments of tor

ture for those who committed some kind of crime.

One was a chastity belt for women who would often cut themselves on the metal and die from infection. There were also blunt knives, bamboo splinters, a thumb drill, a jaw breaker, funky shackles, a face peeler (looks as nasty as it sounds), metal links in a whip, etc. There were some that were just for humiliation, so people would throw garbage at them when they saw them walking down the street.

While we traveled through the underground tunnels, the girls would not stop talking even though the tour guide would tell us to be quiet. Not only is it polite, but we are in a haunted tunnel!

Don't mess with the spirits, man.

First, we saw this room that I thought had a little set up as if from back in the day (you know, like in museums and such), but I was wrong! As I looked closer I saw a place of worship, and above the alter was a giant five sided star.

WICCA!

This was a Wicca temple in use today.

The guide told us they used to be in another room with a circle of stones in the center of the room, but they had to move cause it was so full of evil spirits.

The group that made the circle of stones where also witches, but they were witches that would kill people and take their energy from them by places a ring of stones around the body.

People who step into the circle end up having bad things happen to them. Some faint, some end up with large gash wounds, and other times, it doesn't hit them till later.

Of course some of the hens stepped in the circle.

Next we went into a room where most of the paranormal activity occurs.

We were told to be absolutely silent (but of course the hens weren't), and I was actually really scared.

The guide told us a story about the room. It was back when Edinburgh was in disaster and fires were everywhere around the city. The people underground were safe until the only entrance to the tunnels collapsed. The men shut the women and children in a room that contained the most air as they tried to clear the exit.

However, the fires from above heated up the rocks surrounding them, and the women and children slowly cooked to death.

They found bodies with the skin literally melted off the bones!

All of a sudden we hear a girl scream and I look to the only door to the room and see a black piece of cloth (a robe or flag of somesort) flash out of the room. We have no idea what it was! It was just gone!

The guide turned on her flashlight (it was off before), and we saw one of the hens lying on the floor with scratches all up and down her arm.

She said she had no idea how she got there!

The guide made sure she was okay, then told us the tour was over and ushered us out!

We still had about twenty minutes left of the tour, and we even passed rooms that had displays in them as if we were supposed to see them, but we didn't.

I don't know if what happened was paranormal or not, but it was definitely bazaar, and spooky (even if it was just at the time.)

Mission: Energy

I've only been in Edinburgh for two days, and it has already felt like a week.

We have been hiking here and there, and back to here over and over again. The first day we walked all the way from to the North East side of the city to the South East side, then back to the center, and then down to the North West side. It felt like two days just right there.

In fact, while passing a clothing store, I saw a really cute dress and said, "That looks like the one we saw yesterday." Talia then told me that that was only this morning.

My feet feel like they are slowly being massaged with hot coals. And I seem to have discovered a new set of muscles in between my shins and calves, and boy are they killing me! I don't know how I have survived today!

Actually, we ended up not taking the free city tour today because that would be another three hours of walking, and we decided that we were going to save our energy for the Ghost tour tonight.

Even while at Edinburgh Castle, we started to rush through exhibits in order to get back to the hostel so we could rest.

Hopefully I won't be as stupid in Ireland.

Mission: Archuleta

So, here I am. Salt Lake airport, waiting.

Our flight is late by an hour, and that means we'll only have twenty minutes between connecting flights. Scary, I know. But we're just trying to stay calm.

Meanwhile, we, Talia and I, have been entertaining ourselves by filming things, watching videos online (free internet at the airport!), and what-not.

Then, while we were watching one of Talia's videos from her recent trip to Cali, I heard two people talking next to us.

Earlier, a missionary sat next to us (probably on his way out), and so I assumed it was some guy trying to buddy up to the new missionary, cause I know my dad likes to do that.

I turned to look who was talking anyways, just to see, and I was right. It was the missionary talking, but I was also wrong. It was not some guy. It was THE guy. The one all teenaged hormonal girls dream of seeing.

DAVID ARCHULETA!

But wait! Was is David Archuleta? Was I being silly? Was it my friend Jared who looks exactly like David Archuleta?

In fact, I was so unsure if it was David or not, that I had to go online to compare pictures of David and Jared.

I felt horrible that I didn't say hi to Jared, so I secretly hoped it was David Archuleta just for that reason.

But then, Jared is on his mission!

It couldn't be him!

But they look so alike!

I don't know!

Finally, after comparing pictures, I came to the conclusion that it was David Archuleta!

So, ha! you teenaged girls! In your face!

Mission: Jeans

Why are jeans so difficult to find?

First you have to find one that actually fits; especially now-a-days with skinny jeans in the mix.

I can't wear skinny jeans. Not just because it would look horrible with my huge hips, but I can't even get the pants past my calves (they're just too muscular).

Then there are problems with fitting the butt and not being too small or large on the hips.

It also has to fit under the butt without creating awkward folds.

What about length?

I'm fat and short! it is so difficult to find jeans that are short and wide enough to fit my strange body.

If a miracle happens and the jeans actually fit, there is still the problem of looking good.

The coloring has to look just right in order to make you look smaller (or at least not larger) than you are.

And Acid Washed! Holes! Bleach Stains! Colored Stitching!

There is so much to take in!

What happened to plain jeans with no fancy pansy ugliness!

I just spent the last two weeks trying to find a pair of jeans and only found one yesterday.

After trying on about 30 pairs from 9 different stores, I finally found a pair. ONE PAIR.

So, next time I want to find a pair of jeans, I need to remember that my ratio in finding some would be 1/30.

I don't think I will be up for that anytime soon.

Mission: James McAvoy

As most of you know, I will be leaving for a studyabroad in Wales in just a week and two days. During my awesome trip, I will also be spending a few days in London, where it will be my goal to find James McAvoy.

I will be one of those creepy stalker types, but I don't care.

It's James McAvoy!!!

Have you seen Atonement?

One of the most beautiful films I have ever seen, and I don't just mean the cinematography.

This film portrays how innocent mistakes can have dire consequences.

When I watch this movie, I am always reminded of the stupid things I have said or done that have hurt others. This film shows that there can be a way to find repentance even though it may be impossible to go back to.

So, not only is James brilliant in it as an actor (and gorgeous), but he is a part of a story that runs deep in emotions and meanings.

This, of course, just makes me love him even more!

Have you seen that last kiss in Penelope?

After seeing him in Chronicles of Narnia, I instantly fell in love. (Actually, I didn't really know it was James, since I hadn't seen any of his other movies at the time).

But when I saw Penelope (an alright movie, but the production design is fantastical), I became hooked.

Especially that last kiss!

My roommates didn't help me, either, when it came to subduing my passion for this man cause they are in love with him, too!

(Ahlin especially)

We've decided that he is the best kisser, Ever! Even though we have never actually kissed him...

Have you seen Becoming Jane?

A HORRIBLE Movie! Especially Anne Hathaway's accent.

Atrocious!

But, James revives it to be watchable.

So Sexy, he is. I don't know how he does it!

And that's about all I have to say about this movie. SEXY.

These are my ending thoughts on James. He's brilliantly: talented, attractive, and lovable.

Oh, so lovable!

And I am going to find him while I'm in London for those few days.... and maybe just gawk, but as long as I see him. haha! I am such a creepy.

Mission: Kill Fly

As I was lying on the floor with my dog, Izzi, while watching Brian Regan when a GIANT fly starts buzzing around the television.

Both Izzi and I look up and watch every movement that fly made!

suddenly, both Izzi and I jump to our feet.

Then, as I go for the fly swatter in the kitchen, Izzi decides to slowly approach the fly, nose in the air.

When I return from the kitchen with the fly swatter, Izzi and I exchange a glance.

For a moment, we were of one mind.

We gave each other a slight nod, turned on our prey, and pounced like a fat man lunging for a doughnut.

For the next few minutes, Izzi and I swatted and snapped around the room trying to hunt down the fly, but to no avail.

We eventually gave up and returned to Brian Regan.

Only five minutes went by when the fly returned!

We sprang to our feet once more, and this time, I caught him on the wall almost instantly.

I showed Izzi the proof of our victory, and she decided to eat it!

Oh well! It was still a bonding moment between a girl and her father's dog. :)

Mission: Perry Mason

Tonight I was at work, setting up some tapes (one was on Thailand, and I stopped to watch a little, since I wouldn't be working by the time it would air), when an old man called. He said

his name was brother Kay, and was trying to watch Perry Mason

"I'm getting a gray line with blue hazes, and the pixels, well, I don't know how many pixels there are supposed to be, but I have large squares."

He went on for a while like this, so I decided to stop him, telling him that Perry Mason is, and has been, perfectly clear.

He was very disappointed since Perry Mason is his favorite show.

Then, all of a sudden, the show came back on.

He told me that we would call again if it went back out, "I'm not supposed to have your number, but I'll call the operator again, and she'll tell it to me. Have a good night."

I hung up, and couldn't stop laughing for about two minutes.

I soon went back to the Thailand tape, but only finished setting it up by the time I get another call.

"Hello, this is brother Kay, again."

I silently laughed, but couldn't let him know.

My laughing only grew though once he started saying the same exact thing he did before. This time, though, I mentioned that it could be his TV.

He said that he had bunny ears, and that it could be that but unlikely (right). He finally gave up, and I apologized that he had to miss his favorite show. He thanked me again, and hung up. This time I only laughed for about 20 seconds.

I think this is one of the best things that has happened to me at work.

Mission: Billy Joel

I forgot to write about this a while ago, but it's so worth saying even though it's old news...

I LEARNED ALL THE WORDS TO WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE!!!

I guess I'm just talented like that!

But my next goal is to put a tap dance to it, then I will be the biggest hit of all FHEs around the world!! Muah ha ha!

Mission: Family Bonding

There is nothing like dinner at my parent's house Sunday afternoon.

When all of us get together, it turns into quite a party.

Sometimes we chat politically, most of the time we mock each other, sometimes McKenzie talks the whole time, and then other times its just complete randomness.

Once we were just sitting nicely at the table, and next thing we know my dad starts saying,

"I want a candybar. I WANT A CANDYBAR!"

Just like a little child. For no reason at all.

Priceless.

I've decided to make a documentary on this once-a-week event. I'm just gonna set up a camera and let it roll. perhaps I wont even warn anyone that I'll be filming.

I think this could turn out to be a really great project as we see the development, interactions, and situations each of us goes through.

So, when I get back from Wales (and madison will be back, too), watch out family cause my camera will be rolling:)

Mission: Pride Parade

This weekend was the Gay Pride Parade in SLC, and it was mine and Michelle's goal to go. Our friend Brooke was going to be a volunteer, so we thought it would be perfect. However, Brooke decided not to go, so Michelle and I decided not to.

However, instead, we decided to go on an epic date.

It started with Mimi's cafe. This little tradition goes back to high school when our girl, Jen, decided to take us for a girl's night. We fell in love instantly, and ever since, that's the place we go any time we need extra estrogen in our lives. So, perfect for our girl date.

Then, we checked out Barnes & Noble, where we just looked around (mainly in the Romance section) for an hour or two. Afterwards, we decided that we didn't spend enough time with books, so we headed for the library. But, in the end, we mainly just checked out a lot of movies.

Now, this is next part was the best part of the date; Victoria's Secret. Michelle helped me get a new bra, and then we each bought some sexy new underwear. I think this is the best part about girl dates cause you can't buy underwear on any other kind of date. Can you imagine how awkward that would be? "Hey Frank, would this underwear match my bra?" Even when you're married you don't go underwear shopping together. At least, not anyone I know.

The date ended with the movie Michael Clayton, which just made me sleepy, so I didn't even bother trying to keep my eyes open. Oh Well.

It was a happy girl date that didn't necessarily celebrate gay pride like we had originally started out to do, but we can live with that:)